Mental Health and Dieting

Hey, there friend, you, the one reading this.

I am a normal 29-year-old woman.

I have a masters degree, a steady job, I own my own home, I blog and podcast, I read, I have a cat, I love Netflix, I am single, I am...

Plus sized.

Sometimes with weight loss journeys, we have our ups and downs, well I want to tell you something...

I was doing really great with Keto, got off of it for a bit, and now I am up a few pounds. Not a TON but enough to make me feel like I am worthless...

I know I am not.

But here is why...

Mental Health is a crazy biznatch!!! 

I have tried to get out of these habits and focus on positives and all the standard "help" that you would offer someone with this...

I have depression.

My go to when sad: Food
My go to when happy: Food
My go to when stressed: Food
My go to when bored: Food

Get the picture? 

As I have eaten a bit off Keto and featured carbs back into my world, I have noticed my depression has been a little worse for wear lately, and I know that this my fault. 

BUT I want to let anyone and everyone know that reads this ... IT IS OKAY TO BE DEPRESSED... we cannot be happy all the time. How exhausting. 

So tonight I went to dinner with a friend and I ate like ... 4 pieces of bread. BIG NO NO! It tasted soooo good going down, but I feel miserable both physically and mentally. 

The problem with my depression is I let this big dark cloud hang over me and tell me "just eat this" or "just drink this", I want things so badly, but I purposely don't allow these bad foods in my home, because I know that this is what I will do.

Then I let thoughts of "guys will only like you if you are thin" then I spiral, I look in the mirror at my fat stomach and I think of how ugly I feel.

But then I go to my fitness page, look at the progress I was making and how the weight is re-proportioning itself and I think, and I will tell you:

You aren't doing it for the weight loss, you're doing it for your mental health. The Weight loss is a bonus feature, but just go and do things that make you happy that are HEALTHY!

Walk... gym... stroll... go to the park... go outside and read... just do anything that makes you a better person.

Depression will always be my battle and food my Achilles heel... but I will remain strong.

I just wanted to blog this as a promise to myself so that I had a written documentation of this.

I am going to Boston and New York next week and will try to remain strong there too, but the minute I am back... I am strong on it again. 

Love you all. 

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